I still remember the sorrow, the agony I felt every night, going to sleep alone in my cold bedroom and constantly wondering "What if I'll never get a girlfriend? What if I'll be isolated for the rest of my life?" these questions haunted me...
I remember how being around other people was a living hell, as I constantly felt watched and judged. I would analyze in my mind every move, every word, hundreds of times before expressing it – trembling with fear of what others might think of me and afraid that what I have to say is "inappropriate" or "not funny"... It simply consumed me from the inside…
I will never forget! How sweat came pouring out from every part of my body, and my face turning red, and my heart beating like a snare drum from things as small as talking to a beautiful cashier, or making a phone call!
I had so much knowledge in so many fields… yet for years I was busting my ass at a printing house for only 9$ an hour even though I was capable enough to take the CEO's seat! But I just kept working there anyway... stagnating in mediocrity because I lacked the balls to leave this job to start working on my dream!
I was alive, physically healthy, but on the inside I was dying. I lacked the courage to live life and I was miserable, truly believing that my life will never change, and I'll simply grow old, poor, and lonely. I believed I will die this way.
This is just a fraction of the toll social anxiety had on my life for years. So trust me, I know how you feel.
I know how everything seems hopeless and how every single day just adds more rocks to this luggage... But I am certain that deep down within you KNOW how much more you deserve. I know exactly how hungry you are for a change.